Sneaky
by Eliptical
Summary: Mike's trying to win over Bella's heart again, but only succeding in scaring her half to death. What if he goes too far one night? Well, obviously that means revenge - According to Edward, of course. Mike fans DO NOT READ. one-shot


**Mike's a little OOC, but just because he's that annoying. Mike fans probably shouldn't read this :) Also, pretend that Bella and Edward are already engaged in this story. Review please, they all make my day :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, disclaimers, or any words of the English language for that matter.**

* * *

No one's POV

Mike's a good guy. He's hot, nice, and has never, ever thrown an apple at someone's head. Trust me. He hasn't.  
So why, after he's had like, five girlfriends (and Jessica Stanley), can't he get Bella Swan to date him?  
Obviousley, she likes him. I mean, who wouldn't like him?! Remember: he's hot, nice, and dosen't throw apples at innocent bystanders.

Mike ran his fingers through his super-cool, perfectly-styled blond hair - which, by the way, has nothing to do with Cullen giving him any inspiration. Duh. - and walked over to where Bella Swan sat with the rest of her friends. And the weird, pale-faced family known as the Cullens.

Mike shuddered. Just the sound of their name made him want to gag.

"Hey, Bella," he said in his most seductive voice. Well, not too seductive. No need to give the poor girl a heart attack.

The angel in question looked up at him under her long, thick lashes, her soft brown hair falling over one shoulder.  
"Um, hi Mike" she said warily, stealing a quick glance to her boyfriend, the littlest Cullen. Gag.

Mike smiled a half-smile, bringing out his awesome dimples, and held out a hand for Bella to take. She looked at it, confused. _Oh right. Didn't ask her anything yet_, Mike thought. Mike pursed his lips and glanced back to her sheepishly.

"Oh, right. Can I talk to you, alone?" Bella glanced warily at Alice Cullen, who nodded eagerly, with a sly smile on her pixie-face. Mike smiled at Bella again, but she half-grimaced before standing up, ignoring his sweaty hand, and followed him out of the cafeteria, the whole time ducking her head and thinking, _thanks a lot, Alice._

Mike led her away from the crowd of students, past the empty corridors, and near the gym. Bella couldn't help but smile - Mike thought he was being discreet, where in reality, all of her vampire friends could hear his every heartbeat, let alone everything they were saying.

"Bella" Mike said, smiling his toothed smile. Mike knew he was being cool - his mom even said so a bunch of times.

"Um...hi?" Bella said warily, rubbing her hand along her arm, biting her lip and glancing around. Mike mistook her annoyance for anxiousness, and wanted to get this show on the road.

He reached over, leaning his arm on the side of the gym building over Bella's head. Bella had to suppress her cough from breathing in his overwhelming, puke-worthy stench of cologne, and forced herself to look him in the eye. Maybe he was trying to look seductive, but all he was accomplishing was have a look like he might be constipated.

"Bella" he repeated, purring the words in her ear._ He should invest in some breath mints, _Bella thought. She side-stepped his strange embrace, to stand in front of him, her arms crossed safely over her chest, so she wouldn't be tempted to punch him.

"So... How're you and Cullen?" Mike asked, pretending to inspect his nails.

Bella looked at him warily, then narrowed her chocolate-brown eyes. "_Edward,_" she emphasized his name, "and I are doing fine." Mike looked at her speculatively, then shrugged. "You sometimes seem..._afraid _of him" he said nonchalantly.

Bella rolled her eyes. "No. Mike. We. Are. Fine. Can I go now?"

Mike glanced over her once, but on the inside he was collapsing. _How the hell is she not under his manly spell yet_?! He thought, then broke his facade of coolness and looked at her with pleading eyes. "Oh please please please Bella will you go out with me?!"

Bella looked at him like he was crazy. "Mike, I said no!"  
Mike looked at her with a frown before storming off. "You shall see!" he warned, waggling his finger as he went.

Bella walked back to the lunchroom, arriving just in time to throw away her half-eaten food. She walked to her next class, arm wrapped around Edward's waist, as he chuckled lightly, after hearing Mike's thoughts.

* * *

That night...

Bella and Edward were at their usual routine, cuddling and kissing in Bella's room while Charlie snored in his room across the hall. It was then, in the middle of a (very) long, lingering kiss, Edward suddenly broke off and sat up in a blur of movement, chuckling as he did so.

"What is it?" Bella asked while trying to catch her breath. Edward smiled down at his soon-to-be wife, and whispered quietly, "Mike is outside, thinking of trying to get in. Play along, please." He kissed her once on the forehead and dissapeared from sight, leaving only a slightly sweet scent in his wake. Bella, on the other hand, was still trying to catch her breath as she combed her hair out of her eyes.

No sooner than a minute later, a knock came from her window. Bella, already expecting it, did not jump in fright as she usually would, thinking it was some sadistic vampire there to tear out her throat. No, instead, it was an overly-obsessed crush trying to win her over with his "manly skills".

Bella walked over to the window and hauled it open, not caring whether Charlie heard or not. Mike stood there in black clothes, smiling as bright as a kid on Christmas morning. "Hey Bella" he whispered a bit too loudly, "Can I come in?"

Well, since it was about twenty degrees outside and a cold rain was pouring outside in sheets, nope. But Bella couldn't say that, since either way he was going to come in, whether she liked it or not. So, with an exhasperated sigh, she let him in, wincing as his clumsy body bumped against the ground, so unlike Jacob or her Cullen friend's unintended gracefulness.

He jumped right up after that, grinning like a fool. "So, Bella-" He didn't finish, do possibly to an icy wind - Or was it breath - that blew across his neck. Mike shuddered invoulentarily, and a sudden urge to run and hide struck him, but he sucked it up and went back to proclaiming his love.

"Bella, I- -" But he didn't finish again, something ice-cold had just brushed his foot, and he jumped. "I-I" But again, he couldn't continue, there was a scratch of solid steel against his forehead, and his face suddenly dropped color. "I - Uh, did you feel that?"

His look of pure terror and fear almost made Bella laugh. But of course she didn't - that would blow her cover. She knew Edward was planning a grand finale, and made sure to keep her features composed in the near-darkness. "No." She said simply, scratching her shoulder nonchalantly. Mike gulped and tried to regain his composure, but it was no use. The rapid, random cold breezes and frightening, yet gentle scratches were coming more and more frequently now.

Suddenly, as he was about to speak, a loud siren came rolling into the room. Bella grinned, knowing he couldn't see her smile in the black of the night, and dove under the covers of her bed. Mike, on the other hand, was disoritented and didn't know what was going on until Bella's bedroom door flung open, and her light flicked on.

Standing there, face red with anger, was Charlie Swan, carrying a gun. But when he saw Mike standing there, rather than the expected Cullen, his face reflected a brief look of surprise before it returned to anger. "Newton!" He hissed, thinking Bella was sound asleep under her covers like she looked to be. Mike stood there in his dark clothes with a guilty expression; the perfect portrait of a criminal who looked exactly as he was doing. Sneaking into his daughter's bedroom.

"Come with me, son." He whispered menacingly, gesturing over. Mike took a gulp of air before slowly making his way over to the Chief. The door and light clicked behind them, leaving the room silent and dark once again.

Edward slid out from where he hid under the bed, chuckling at the night's doings. Bella gigled along with him, making sure to keep her own voice low. "How'd you do it?" She asked, snuggling closer to her personal Adonis.

He smiled at her. "Called the house, discuising my voice and telling Charlie that I saw a suspicious boy climbing into your room."

Bella gaped at him. "But wouldn't Charlie recgonize any man with your voice?"

Edward grimaced. "Er, I discuised it as a woman's."


End file.
